A Few Words About Vulvas
In this line of work, and long before, I’ve seen my share of vulvas. And sadly, there seems to be a lot of shame about what someone’s vulva looks like to them. Too small, too ‘loose’, or as Nikki Glaser puts it, ‘it looks like a hastily packed suitcase’. Basically, some women just feel like their vulva isn’t normal.
So what is ‘normal’, you ask? Well, there isn’t some ‘standard vulva’. Every vulva is as unique as the woman it is a part of. Unique like a fingerprint. Which probably explains why when I worked in a sex shop, there were thousands of sex toy designs for women, and like three designs for men.
Someone recently asked me if I had a ‘go-to’ trick for getting women to orgasm. But that uniqueness means there is absolutely no one off ‘trick’ that will work on every woman. No wait, there is a go-to trick. Start off slow, explore everything, and listen to their body and reactions, shifting focus as you go.
Best of all though, is communication. ‘A little to the left’, ‘right there’, ‘firmer’, ‘less pressure’, ‘another finger’ are all amazing examples of directions. Because what was our go-to tongue trick with our ex could be completely different to what you want, so telling us how you like it is not a reflection on our abilities (reread that, lads). Although ‘right there don’t move’ while she convulses and squirms is quite a challenging one to follow.
I’m actually quite jealous of vulva-owners and all the fun and enjoyment that can be had. The aforementioned thousands of cool toys, the multiple (or ongoing) orgasms, masturbating all day. When it comes to true pleasure, you ladies run circles around us men.
So what does a normal vulva look like? Grab yourself a mirror, lay back, and take a look for yourself. Truly explore your vulva, visually, physically. Don’t be afraid of it. Because I may not know what your vulva looks like, but I know one thing that I hope you too come to discover:
Your vulva is beautiful.