Why do women pay for sex?
Updated: Nov 17, 2021
When I first started looking into this line of work, I had developed an idea of whom my clientele may be. More recently I read a PhD thesis titled 'Women Who Buy Sex in Australia' and most of the stories in there seemed in line with my original expectations.
However my experiences since actually starting have been further from both of those ideals. Recently someone asked me what my 'average' client was like, and I had no answer. There is no average client. The women who book a date with me are as varied and individual as the women you pass in the street. They have ranged in ages from 23 to 65, ones that regularly booked sex workers to one who hadn't had sex in twenty years. From beautiful sensual encounters to sub/dom play time.
In the thesis I just mentioned, there are a few remarks regarding women's expectations of free sex. Something my friends ask me about why women pay for sex when they can get it for free. To this, I think I've finally found the perfect comparison.
Water is free. It's literally available on tap. Some places however, that tap water tastes funny. Metallic. Chemical. Whatever. So people buy bottled water. Sure, it's more expensive than fuel per litre, but at least you know what it is going to taste like. It's also super convenient when there is no tap around. It tastes good enough to drink it to maintain your hydration.
And then there's Voss water. Sometimes triple the price of regular bottled water. But it comes in that sexy, cylindrical glass. While its contents may only satisfy your thirst the same as the other clear fluids, it also can't be ignored how it makes you feel drinking from that vessel. That fine, premium vessel you paid good money for.
Sure, sex can be had for free. But what about the quality? How are you left feeling? Too many of my female friends have told me about one-sided Tinder dates, with privileged men seeking only to satisfy their own needs, beyond only the most simplest 'foreplay' they feel is required.
A woman buying sex doesn't mean she isn't capable of getting 'free sex'. It means she has agency to take her pleasure into her own hands (besides the usual definition of that phrase). A good straight male escort can not only make a woman feel completely sexually satisfied, but also truly wanted and desired. He will listen to her needs, both verbally and non-verbally, and genuinely seek to meet them.
Why do women pay for sex? Because they can. Because they want to. Because female sexual agency has been suppressed for far too long. Sex isn't about procreation. It isn't shameful. Sex, and all the terms encapsulated within that single word, should be about pleasure, respect, and a whole lot of fun.
Most importantly, hiring a straight male escort is about safety. Not just the STI type of safety. But safety in the knowledge that throughout the entire time, the client has the power. Consent is queen, and at all times my clients feel safe with me. A booking with a sex worker itself isn't consent to sexual activities. Sure, they are available and on the table, but only accessed with enthusiastic consent.
So maybe the real question is, why wouldn't a woman pay for sex? 😘